As the Sarah Turns

I really know, the real Superman does not exist. If there really was any man under super man pressure, I have some wonder about it, but not too far. Do some men know the non-existence of Superman so much that the idea of being a protector or rescuer is just a mundane thing? Are there some men out there that really burn when they get the extents and impossibilities of being a superman? I've already met the polar opposites of Superman who've lived to damn me and would probably throw a fit or maybe even bomb something if I did ever find a Superman. If there were someone who burned to be superman, I wonder how they would settle the extreme opposing ends to find some peace in themselves in the relationship. How would the guy make the reality come together? Another reminder of snowflakes. After so much arbitrage is used, not everyone has the same thoughts or ways to decide on things...... Then comes my own perfectionist criticism which may or may not be realized: Brawn vs. Brain. Even though Brawn vs. Brain looks easily summed up I do have my own personal sophistication. Not every man thinks with his Brawn or Brain all the time. They can be the typical man. If he does mean his rescue or his wit, just how much does he mean it? ................... Anyway... Which guy do I want to start with first. Right now I have this serious need to get the facts and know the truth and put myself out of whatever misery. I have this anxiety that I can't stand right now. I'll start with Edward. I've seen signs of him everywhere. Both positive and negative. My instincts just don't trust Edward right now. Although he has one agenda, he does seem like he is being a little swooning to me. He still hasn't called. Maybe he does still have some feelings and doesn't want to give up on me. A part of me is happy to hear that, but another part of me has an instinctive distrust. Maybe he wasn't responsible for some of the arbitrage, but I'm questioning what is he guilty of? I have seen that innocent smile before where I know the smile is not innocent. It comes from the biggest, sickest sex offenders of them all. I hate to have to question Edward, but is he really guilty of some of the extreme sexual harassment I have just experienced in the last couple of days? They gave one sign of who was responsible but I see how Edward could be framed to be guilty in the arbitrage. I can't just be blindsided by that or left to wonder if or how much of a sick and violent sex offender Edward is. It really is not ok. I want a serious punishment or murder for how I was sexually offended. ............. For the next, I'll talk about Travis. I really am wondering what he is thinking. Shawn has been an impossible local this whole time. Whether Travis knew the enemy Shawn was, he now knows. I wonder how impossible of a local Travis is going to be. I wonder if he is going to be the same distant but there person, or if he is actually going to say anything about it. Other possible connections, I wonder how impossible they are. I really do wonder if Travis is a bisexual swinger, or mostly gay, or mostly straight. Does he intentionally want to hurt me with Shawn? If Travis does want something to do with me and not let go, I think I do deserve to know some of his truth because of the broadcast movie: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Does Travis have an impossible God complex, or does he want to have a sit down conversation? (without making it to awkward)........ I did get a message from Blake. Blake, if credit is due you, I will thank you too for giving me the message over a year ago that I made my wonderful discovery of being pregnant. At Goodwill. If there is something you want, you can only manipulate so much. I know you are associated with Maggie, but maybe it has nothing to do with Maggie at all. .................. I've had a few other guys on my mind and will eventually have more of a thought, but a lot is up in the air. I am taking note of things I am seeing around. While I may not see everything going on in the job market, I am picking up on some info. I'm not going to say much about it for now, and can just wait until however long I can wait..........