Crackfix or Raped pretty hard?

That is the question I look at when looking at my mom right now. Someone must have really raped her hard for just how ugly and psychotic she speaks. Probably a mixture of crack and rape. FACT IS, I KNOW I'M STILL DAMNED TO LIVE HERE WHERE MY SEXUALLY OFFENSIVE AND ABUSIVE FATHER LIVES TOO. I KNOW I'M AT RISK ANY TIME I BLOG. I KNOW MY DAD WILL EITHER SEXUALLY OFFEND ME HIMSELF OR PLOT SOME KIND OF RAPE AGAINST ME OR THREATEN MITZI. BESIDES HIS SICK FUCK CRACKHEAD JUDGEMENTAL ABUSE THAT HIM AND JON STEWART WANT TO GANG RAPE ME WITH MORE. JON KNOWS HE IS NOT WINNING, WILL SOMEONE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIS SICK FUCK GREEN EGGS AND HAM YET? AND I HATE THE SATISFACTION YOU SICK FUCKS BOTH WANT FROM IT. NIGGERTARDS. IT WILL ALWAYS BE VIOLENCE BEGETS VIOLENCE WITH ME; WHOEVER RAPED MY MOM, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. FOR WHOEVER KARMA PSYCHO IS IN LINE TO WISH TO RAPE ME BACK, I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT CONSEQUENCES YOU THINK YOU DESERVE TO RAPE ME. FUCK YOUR SENSE OF JUSTICE. FUCK ALL OF YOUR SICK FUCK GANG RAPE IN ENTIRETY. FUCK YOUR ARROGANCE. FUCK THE WAY YOU THINK YOU HAVE A CHANCE. RIGHT NOW, I THINK IT IS JIM AND STACY'S SICK FUCK ARROGANT CRACKHEADS I AM SPEAKING TO, BUT I AM AWARE SOME OTHER GANG-RAPERS OUT THERE HAVE EARS TO. WATCH ME KEEP GETTING LOUDER WITH NO FEAR YOU DUMB-ASS PURPOSELESS RETARDS.

Tom

Hmmmmmmm. Questioning if you and Joel have a real share or if you are just jumping in and playing around. The music video was playful, but other signs I see really are too sexually violent and rough against me personally..... In the literal music video fight, the guy you were fighting in the end looked a little like Luke. Maybe you see him in ways that I can't where he is the one who is too judgemental and has a terrible accountability dominance.......... I wasn't that close with Luke; he always came across as attractive or seductive. Luke's info is up in the air.......... The sexual violence. It really does offend me. I already murdered the terrorism of the idea out. I have yet to see the Vampire movie, but it is like you have your mind of eye sight made up of how you want to see me and the way you want to approach the way you look at me: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v639/filmfreak23/American_Beauty.jpg http://i795.photobucket.com/albums/yy237/Ladyof_Death/claudiafinale.jpg http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n142/The-Dust-Of-Jack/lestclau.jpg I know you have a literal age to use against me....... This has nothing to do with other women in the arbitrage now either......... I don't like the way you look at me. Maybe I was being a violent tease and challenge when I bought the makeup, but your approach and stare still aren't good enough for me. If my body isn't good enough for you; it just isn't. It is sexually violent and hateful to continue to stare at me that way. If this is about your own fascist discrimination or discrimination based on maturity depending on how evil or bad someone is, it is still your own discrimination. I can't help but want to buy some more of the make up just for my own violent sake. I guess it depends on my own leisure of wearing whatever makeup I want to wear, or act of being a matador. (Damn the retarded judgemental delegates.) I feel the cut of one of your bull's horns a little but it doesn't kill me.

Spare the Rod/ Spoil the Child, Cougar After You

Tom......................he loves me he loves me not...... still feel murdered....... I really would hate the idea of someone using you as a tool to just get me to talk. I see several signs, and I could careless as to how rude I am to some ppl, esp. Katy Perry. My life has been fucked with that much. I get the idea though of what the relationship with her could have been about. It still doesn't change a lot that has happened to me. You could have happened to be a certain person with the wrong person at an irrelevant time with no responsibility. You could have your own motive. I do remember the Comedy Central Special about those with autism. I've already said my main shpeal. The only person I was redblooded against was Jon. My entire pregnancy had already been a nightmare, (my life is still a nightmare to this day) and he violently lies and sexually offends me again with Katy Perry as one of his tools. I'm sure there were a lot of offenses that night that I may or may not have caught onto. I know the coldblooded rapist killer Jon is; and he will never have my trust again. I seriously do not want to be involved in his life in anyway. You have me on your bad side right now with whatever is going on. While I have a difficult time having to admit that it brings some kind of cheer that you don't want to give up on me, it does give me some kind of cheer. Despite the seemingly and impossible inevitable man, I just don't know how to be completely comfortable or open with you. Maybe I am someone special to you and have a piece of your heart, and don't know completely how or why. I don't know what drives you or what your motives are. I don't know what expectations you have. I have taken hints at other women in your life. I don't know what to say or do right now. You still may be expecting me to get a boob job for the "loser" I am. .......... Obviously not too much of a cougar, or I would be over it and would be more teasingly aggressive on top of you.........still not easy and impossibly complicated esp. with facts of life and status. angst. feel loved and helpless.

The Boss Here

Why the boss name? Because I am the boss. I've always been my boss. Right now I can't completely identify you, but if you aren't careful with my boundaries I will be da Boss to you. I have never forced a man to love me a day in my life. Yes, I consider myself being manipulative, but not forcing. If other men lie, men lying is nothing new to me. Whoever you're with now Becky, Tabitha, whatever Kate or Katie in the matrix whoever.... neither of YOU do not have me owned. If you dare to subject me to whatever judgement, I will be even more available and maybe even chasing to the next pimp that comes along. If it isn't even judgement, I still will not accept any will of yours to subject me to yourself whatever woman you're with. Before I would let the next pimp win, it would be after I get fired and maybe a month later if I havn't found a job. If you dare challenge my truth or my history, I dare you to actually look up my history. I dare you to dare me to compromise the liberty of what I believe about surviving and what some REAL challenges are to me. Whether or not you will ever notice me again, I already see how life is too late for me. I won't blame myself for my vulnerability or will to survive. Before some bubbles of mine were burst today, I did feel the Cheezit love last night. I almost cried. But guess what? I can take your Dr. name away any time. Red Beard? Dale JR? ha. you have the nerve to give your name Dale Jr. Who knows, maybe Dale does believe in pimping to earn a heart. But if it is in a backwards way where "oh you have my prostitute trapped," yeah Tom you've earned my heart all right and I'm going to be dumbass enough in trying to be subservient to your sense and "dominance" of judgement. I am open to getting another job. But I'm just as open to letting a pimp win for just HOW LONG MY HISTORY OF SURVIVAL HAS STAYED THE SAME OLD FUCKING STORY. I won't argue against the name "Susan," too much. Susan off of Desperate Housewives. I know I'm emotional. And after our fake marriage and divorce comes along, I'm sure I'll have some kind of Mike come along. I FUCKING KNOW THOSE STORIES NEVER EXISTED. But, if you are going to identify yourself as Carl, you already know you can't kill me. Susan Boyle. I know I never went for a singing contest. And, if you must know, I never meant it when I identified myself as her. Calling myself Boyle was all bullshit. If you want to call me a frog because I would succumb to your pimp like that, my tweet is still the same: B-L-A-M-E-L-E-S-S.

Can you just go cold-chicken to get over me?

clicking my fingers on desk ~~~~  What arrogant confidence and nerve to keep hitting on me and making suggestion. You can always play the grade school games Jon, and say you are talking to someone else. I'm going to make you pay for testing me anyway. What a funny tweet darkpolitriks had when I envisioned in my head another youtube video of some kind of rifle or bazooka going off and off at some targeted destination. I guess we need more talk to get real...... Are either of us coping?  Despite whatever bullshit has been I believe in more bullshit and definitely would believe the most in you murdering me.
talk on my side of getting real.................
Mr. and Mrs. Smith was an angry beautiful fantasy a long time ago. Although it seems the life correlations seem to happen often, it isn't an aim of a fantasy life for me. I really don't want the violent life or the violent love. The first time I watched it; I was unsettled. I understood what it felt like to be hooked and passionate for someone in my own world. I understood the murderous thoughts as well. Some of the hype from some of the real men or some men who never were at all just became rot and disgust over time. It was a lazy, selfish, and cheap way for some men to indulge in their typical male violent hype. I did feel like a Mrs. Smith sex object in the past and still on some occassions. With some real attraction and the right kind of work a man puts into it, I can own up to having a violent lust on occassion. Sometimes it is my secret. Sometimes it isn't a secret at all. I know I havn't kept it a secret with you Jon.
I see the other game you're playing with, "look at me, I'll be the underdog now." You seem to minimize how gigantic of a problem it was. I think you're in denial and have your own way of avoidance. I could compare you to the character that was in the Circus movie with Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon. You wouldn't be Robert of course. You would be the circus owner, and sadly, me the elephant who was never even seen as considered with the lists of Reese's you have subjected me to. I am the elephant you hate and love sadistically beating on. You may fight to believe in communism more, and not just for your own communist sake, but for you to say I should control you more and refuse any crumb of freedom for you. You probably will always envision me as this passive aimless person, but I know what I am. I never have wanted to mother a lover the way you expect. I see how someone already rants on you with the Family Guy and "Stewie." I'm not the type of lover you are looking for. Despite history, I was never your underdog or seriously feeling you or any of your women's subject or slave.
I hate the way I have been ignored by you and wish you would just reflect on the actions you have already made. This isn't me giving in to wanting to be your motherly lover either. And because I'm not that role not everything is ok either. You should havn't been such a Liar/ backstabber/ gang rapist/ liar/ hater/ mysogynist/liar sadist/ gory and morbid/ liar/ blindsinding/ subjector/ dictator you were and are. Did I mention the word liar? The impression you left on me is one that is impossible to love. Ike Turner-ish. You had your own time of being Mr. Smith hot stuff Brad Pitt role, but it wore off, and sadly, you and a lot of men don't know what I think of them when they get into their violent hypes. You ignored my emotions too much or intentionally wanted to batter them more.
 The times and odds of being the hot stuff Mr. Smith really aren't that often with most men in general. I don't even wish for the sex object of it all. It is sad how some fail to realize their grotesque, egocentric, stuck up their own ass, barbarian that I see them as.
Jon, I really do believe I would be better off in the world without your "attempts of love."