As The Sarah Turns

hmph....... It is Shawn D' A that I need saved from. There are 2 randomly possible available guys right now that I know I would do if they wanted to get it on with me. Greek CIA guy and someone else I have to be more secretive about.... The guy on msn, I really can't recognize whoever he is supposed to look like. Right now, my favorite Don Drapers are Steve Carrel and David Duchovney. I thought that Steve would have said something or given a sign by now, but I am left waiting too long without a clue. While David does have some smooth moves made; he still has a lot of red flags. Don Drapers are Don Drapers. Until they convince me that they can be taken seriously and are not an impossible joke who will never come around in real life, they can only be a painfully teasing fantasy. Steve really broke my heart hard though. I have issues with Steve where if he were being aggressively convincing beyond Don Draper anyway, I would still have real life issues where I would need further convincing. I just know Shawn D' A is really on my tail big time and present time and it would be nice to have another available man right now. WHACK! SHAWN WHACK! slap slap slap Be Gone with YOU!

I can't take it

Maybe I am chicken shitting over nothing, but I had to go with the obvious assumption anyway whether or not it is a lie or only coming from the other Ben. I am so sorry if I really did break your heart with Dane and Shawn. I never meant to hurt you the way that I feel hurt. I can't stand losing or being so violently betrayed anymore. Couldn't you have cut the karma and revenge and give me a break? You just made me feel that much more gang raped and defenseless. Yay Steve, more power to my sister's violent dumb crackhead who seriously does treat herself as my superior and is subjective. More power to Katie, Steve. I can't stand or handle how let down I am anymore. I thought you were going to be so much more of a better match than so many of the other guys, but you let me down just as much as they do. Katie is my enemy. She will always be my enemy. I am one to kill for and I need a man who is on my side and would be desperate and constant to stay on my side. I can't handle the betrayal or losing anymore. You sure put me out of my misery all right but did you really have to stab me in the heart like that? Did you have to make me feel that much more defenseless? I'm going to be crying and sobbing and then I am going to get over it. I'm going to keep recognizing there are other fish in the sea hoping that I won't have to keep begging the question: why do I always lose or get betrayed so constantly by so many guys? Why do the wrong guys keep coming to me? Why am I always being forced to feel like I'm the loser? I never meant to let you down like that Steve and I'm sorry that I wasn't awake and I'm sorry if I broke your heart, but you are really violently breaking mine.

I'd Rather Not Be Misunderstood

John Atchison has no chance with me. This entire time, he has been nothing but a savage, desperate egomaniac who feels he deserves to be treated as god above me. I AM SO SICK OF HIS SICK PREDATORY HARASSMENT AND HIS SICK PREDATORY THREATS AND MANIPULATIONS AND THAT HE WOULD BE DUMB TO THINK I WOULD BE HIS FOOL OVER ANYTHING. I DON'T CARE WHO HE HAS FUCKED OR WHATEVER WINS HE COULD HAVE WHERE HE THINKS HE DESERVES TO RAPE ME OR LORD OVER ME JUST BECAUSE HE MAY HAVE HIS WINS SOMEWHERE ELSE. THE SICK RAPIST BASTARD FOR THE THINGS HE WANTS TO USE AGAINST ME TO THINK HE DESERVES HIS DOMINANCE OR TO HAVE ME. I AM SO SICK OF HIS PREDATORY STALKER, LEERS, AND THREATS. HE HAS THE DUMBEST SENSE OF LOGIC AND REASON. I have stayed quiet for a long time and I can tell his predatory stalker isn't going away at all or any time soon. I know I don't want to pick a fight with the dumb savage barbarian, BUT I KNOW I'VE ALREADY SUFFERED A HISTORY OF THE MOST TERRIBLE ASSUMPTIONS, JUDGEMENT AND SUBJECTIVE ASSUMPTIONS AND JUDGEMENT. I'D RATHER NOT BE MISUNDERSTOOD AS TO WHERE PEOPLE THINK THAT JOHN HAS ANY CHANCE WITH ME WHATSOEVER. I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF IT WERE HIS RETARD ARROGANCE THINKING I WOULD BE FOOLED WITH SANDRA IN "A BEAUTY CONTEST." AND NO, I'M NOT DENYING SANDRA'S REAL LIFE CREDIT. IF IT ISN'T THE BABY'S FATHER, I'D RATHER SOMEONE JUST GIVE JOHN A GOOD BEAT DOWN THAN TO TRY TO KEEP THE STRUCTURE PROTECTED. I DON'T CARE IF IT WOULD WORK TO SCARE HIS PREDATOR OFF, HE NEEDS A VIOLENT SLAP FOR HIS VAIN VIOLENCE AND NOT SEEING THE OBVIOUSLY VAIN APE THAT HE IS.

That was a sick bastard threat

Like you have offered any security or protection all along. Bastard Commie. Whether this is John Atchison, Jon Stewart, or John Boehner, you should be shamed for giving yourself the bastard power you give yourself. You can't control the fact that I think I'm too good for Stacy, that Stacy will always be my bastard unworthy pig who should be punished any time she expresses dominance over my life. Whatever bastard pigeonhole that your bastard communism is wanting to pigeonhole me in reexamine the bastard terrorist commie you've always been. You guys have always been too corrupt, guilty of lies, communist, and shallow to think you would ever be a worthy opponent, or threat. You all, (esp. John Atchison) are nothing but a bunch of dumb Gadaffis, more than unworthy of your authority, waiting to be runover.

What's it Matter

I'm sorry for the mixed signal you really do have. While you pick the fake wrestler to fake wrestle with, I know you mean to say: "Like I care that you went for him." (I'm not reading all of the articles or ads). I did see your jealousy the other day over texting Eric G. You gave me a death threat with the "meat grinder." I'm not surprised when violence begets violence with you. Is it that I am insensitively ignoring you and your jealousies? In most ways, yes. You have still avoided and ignored too much about me. You have a mixed signal, so I'm not convinced that you are seriously trying to make some sort of attempt to win me. Anyway, you're not making up for anything with whatever comic relief you could have. You're not accepting how much you have damned and effected my life ever since around 2008 or 2009 along with the other gang rapists who have lived to ruin it. Your attempts are still too cheap. I'd rather you not act like you care at all. Again, I'm sorry it is in your error for the mixed signal.

Prefer Superman over Thugs

Hunch. I could be wrong and I know I'm not sure of myself on this one. You really have scared me off, and with the majority of your signs, you do look like you are scaring me off. In a way, I would want you to just stay my enemy where I can protect my truth and there are no misunderstandings because of associations. Malcolm X or Shorty want a thug? I'm not a shorty. I care to keep my Canadian reputation intact. I know violence begets violence sometimes with me. I'm not always strong enough to have more self control. ........ In a brief side thought when it comes to politics and beliefs, here is my shpeal. Whether or not Django was based on a true story, it was during another time of slave labor. Martin Luther was not of that time, but blacks were still at a high rate of racism, prejudices, and oppression. Time is the key factor. Django was more than worthy of his murder. I still feel I would be right to murder Jon for my own self defense. He has been the most inhumane and hateful person I think I have ever had to experience. He is the reason for a lot of my oppressions and torture. I feel I do deserve to murder Jon and his other gangsters that are in on his terrorism. Jon had no reason to hate me in the severity that he did. He had no reason to severely make me his indentured servant the way he did. He still will never feel he has done no wrong and wouldn't even think about accepting any consequences. If I could choose my own resolution, I would make a very obvious and a slave in serious pain out of Jon, Bree Ann, Stacy, Erin, and Katie, his entire slave laboring arbitrage in front of everyone. It wouldn't even be that we would be equal after that. I would never make the hateful and inhumane choices or other whatever random life choices that they would ever make. I would want an eye for an eye revenge and people to remain aware that we are not the same kind of people. Back to political thoughts and beliefs with Malcom X? I think I would have some support more than no support. I know he was still part of Martin Luther's time. I would say Martin Luther is the better man. However, corruption still exists in any time. White men can be very unfair wiggers about things. When it causes oppression, and people know there is still unfairness, violence could be inevitable. I wouldn't use Malcom X's example to manipulate me out of getting some justice against Jon and how much he has wronged and hurt me. I could still see myself gun him down violently. I've already been made to understand the issues with wealth and how it goes when valuing people regardless of the right and wrong. Do some wealthy have to be so wrong sometimes? Do they really have to get like that? Do they really feel they deserve to lie and/ or make an indentured servant out of someone? Do they really feel they deserve to abuse some people the way they do? I know there is a way where Jon has gotten the better of me when violence begets violence. I know I will always have a sick hate against him. Sometimes, I feel like I could never tell Jon how much I hate him enough. I like Canada's reputation better than Russia's. I like to try to take the high road as much as I can to my own extent rather than go low. I know I'm not short. I know what I believe in and the real character and integrity that I have. I want an eye for an eye against Jon and his gang, with other people knowing we are not the same kind of people.

Fucking Selfish Pig

You have nothing but pain and agony to offer. Woo look at me I'm your "Taylor." YOU KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KEEPS KILLING ME WITH YOUR GATOR GIRTH. THIS NEXT MISTAKE IS YOU STUBBORNLY WANTING TO FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL OVER WHO IS GIVING IN TO WHO AND WHO "IS LAYING THEIR LIFE DOWN FOR THE OTHER." Two days ago you pissed over my heart again when you fought to SUBJECT AND DEFEND CINDY OR ANN. Now you're fucking groveling over my Taylor again and making up your own story of what my screams are. I AM NOT YOUR OR ANYONE ELSE'S INFERIOR YOU FUCKTARD. YOU KNOW YOU JUST WANT TO USE ME FOR YOUR OWN EGO AND YOUR OWN SAKE. I KNOW I CRIED AND JUST AS I ALREADY KNEW YOU WOULD USE AND ABUSE MY EMOTIONS LIKE THAT AS YOU ALREADY RECENTLY HAVE. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER ME BUT TORMENT AND SLAVE LABOR. HASN'T IT ALWAYS BEEN SUCH A GREAT SEX LIFE AND LOVE FOR YOU. HAS IT REALLY MEANT SOMETHING TO YOU. YOU FUCKING KNOW YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO SUBJECT, LIE, DOWNGRADE, AND MURDER ME TO DEATH. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE FUCKING EVER DONE. YOU KNOW WE HAVE NEVER BEEN EQUALS, YOU KNOW YOU WILL NEVER TREAT ME AS SUCH. BESIDES ALL THAT AND HOW EXTREMELY UNFAIR YOU ARE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE QUICK TO THROW ANOTHER LYING, DOWNGRADING HISSY FIT ANYTIME I DON'T GIVE IN TO YOU OR BE SUBJECTED OR A SELLOUT FOR ANY OTHER OF YOUR VIOLENTLY VAIN AND CONTROLLING FUCKTARDS. STOP ENSLAVING ME TO YOU AND MAKING MY LIFE MISERABLE. STOP BEING IMPOSSIBLE ABOUT IT ALL LIKE ANYTHING WAS EVER GOING TO WORK OUT.